Being 25, Unmarried and a Woman in Pakistan

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“Beti ka Kahin Rishta Nahi Kia”, “Kahin baat paki hui”, “kia age hy apki”, “Larkio ki is umer mein shadi ho jani chahie” and the ultra-famous “ tumhari umer mein mery do do bachy thy” are some of the beautiful words I get to hear as a 25 year old, not-engaged and unmarried woman in Pakistan. I am sure you do too and trust me ladies, it’s never going to change. Now, rather than debating on how should it change, lets focus on how to deal with the Aunty Brigade.

Listen ladies. This is your life and you only live once. No one, absolutely no one has the right to influence such important decisions even if they are your parents. Yes I said that and I am now imagining numerous flying chappals targeted towards me. But, it’s OK.

‘‘You might not be married because you don’t want to or you might not be married because it didn’t just happened for you’’

Regardless, there are more important things in life. Here is what should do;

Focus on yourself– Whatever matters to you and will better you in any way, do that. Whether it’s exercising, learning a new skillset, reading or changing a habit. It will help you take your mind of your aunty brigade.

Save Money– Whether you earn your own money or get monthly allowance from parents, start saving some money. Learn about managing your own finances and you will be relieved later on in life.

Meditate– A few years back, I used to think that meditation is a joke but the amount of peace it brings you is immeasurable. Try Vipasna! Look up the technique and start doing it every day.

Be Independent– Now, I am not talking about financial independence only. It is important that you learn how you should manage your finances, emotions and day to day worries yourself.

Take it Easy– Every problem on earth has a solution. We all know it but somehow, we forget it in the midst of our day to day worries. Things will turn out in your favor. Patience is surely a virtue. Just take a deep breath and take a solution oriented approach instead of a problem oriented one.

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